Monday, October 27, 2008

Week 14

So today marks the beginning of the 14th week along with the start of the second trimester. I was hoping today, I would wake up and find the sickness just gone. That was not the case. My legs felt like Jell-O, there was a headache and the morning sickness was still there. I know this will get better, and I feel bad complaining. But I must vent.

I feel so lucky that Ben and I had only one bump in the road to getting pregnant. This is one of those things that most couples don't feel comfortable discussing, but I actually feel better talking about it. And I hope it helps couples out there realize a lot of people have problems. Ben and I ended up getting pregnant (totally unplanned) back in May. It came as a total shock. We were in the process of trying to sell a house and relocate back to Arkansas. I figured it out around the 5th week. I called Ben (who was out of town), and after the initial shock - he was pretty pumped too. They did a sonogram in my 7th week, and I had lost the baby. I was heartbroken. Some friends back in Arkansas had their baby boy a week later, and I found myself bitter about it. Ben's sister's best friend told us she was expecting about a month later, and I couldn't be happy for her and her husband. Even though we hadn't been trying, I wanted the baby more than anything. So when the doctor told me we could try as soon as things were back to normal, that's what we did. And fortunately, the first month, things worked out. Now I feel terrible about the way I felt (and acted) for those couple of months. And now when I complain, I feel a little guilty. I could be struggling with something much worse than an achy back.

But I am keeping my fingers crossed that one day I'll just feel great and have endless amounts of energy.

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