Wednesday, December 10, 2014

To the Woman Who Stopped Me in the Whole Foods Parking Lot

You didn't stop a momma who was endangering her child.  Allowing her brother to carry her twenty feet to her car door with me a step ahead wasn't going to result in anything harmful (probably).   And if he had dropped her it would have been an accident, not child abuse. 

Maybe you should have not said anything.  Or said something nice.  Because this momma has enough on her plate to shed tears over people like you.  You see, she's not a baby.  She's nearly two and a half.  And she should be running toward the car or running away from me or her brother like every other two year old.  I should be stressed out about her disappearing from me in a parking lot or a store like every other two year old.  But I don't get to worry about those things.  Because she can't walk.  And I don't know if she ever will.  When Ben and I found out we were having a little girl, I imagined so many things for her.  Playing chase with her brother or the dog.  Dance recitals with constant glances to side stage to watch her instructor doing the dance.  Play time in the bath or trips to the swimming pool or beach.  And while I do still hold on to those dreams, sometimes it seems like they are slowly slipping away. 

I spend every day making sure she has the best opportunities for health and well-being.  She is almost always right by my side day and night..  I have maxed out every available therapy and searched high and low, near and far, for any and every doctor who may be able to help her.  And I get looks from strangers clearly wondering what I have done to her that would cause her to be in a full torso plaster cast.  Did I drop her?  Or beat her?  Am I a terrible parent?  So feel free to add yourself to that list. 
You're certainly not going to beat me up anymore than I already have.  Because I often times wonder if this is because of something I did or didn't do.  Or maybe if I would have been more observant early on.  Or maybe I'm still not searching hard enough for answers or solutions. 
But I do know that we are going to try to make things as "normal" as possible.  And if her loving brother wants to carry his two year old sister a couple of feet in a parking lot, I'm going to let him.  And I'm going to worry about her safety with every step he makes.  The same way I worry about them both with every breath that they take.
Because you didn't just stop any momma in the Whole Foods parking lot today.  You stopped a momma who loves her children fiercely.  And if something did happen to one of them, it would be an accident.  So please don't throw around the words "child abuse".  And maybe next time if you want to say something, make it nice.


Sugar said...

I am so very sorry this happened to you. You did not deserve it, and neither did your kids. You have every right to be angry, frustrated, and sad.

Amanda (McNeely) Vestal said...

I am so sorry. You are such a wonderful mother and I hate that anyone would make you feel angry or sad. Allyn is so blessed to have you.

Kelly Stamps said...

Want me to smack somebody? Cause I will.

I'm so sorry - I don't know a better mom than you are to Allyn. You inspire me daily.

Carol said...

If I had stopped you it would be to say how cute she is!!!! Because she is adorable.

Maureen said...

I read your blog infrequently and I just happened by today. I am so very, very sorry this happened to you. At times all of us can form opinions and this is such a good example of how important it is not to judge.

You will be in my prayers today and throughout the holiday season. You clearly are a wonderful mother. Your children are lucky to have you.

Anonymous said...

God Bless You...some people can be so rude. As the saying goes don't judge until you have walked a mile in a persons shoes. I'm sorry that lady judged you and didn't know the circumstances!