Thursday, October 22, 2015

Things are Getting Real

Oodles of doctors appointments coming up.  We get to meet with a pulmonologist and have a follow-up with her orthopedic surgeon next week.  The following week is her heart cath and punch biopsy to try and diagnose her genetic condition.

And I'm so many things:  nervous, excited, and indifferent.

Nervous:  What if something goes wrong?  What if we can't fix it?  These are my worries.  I know we have sought out very competent doctors, but things happen.  And the reality is that they can happen to anyone.  And if they can't fix it with the heart cath, that means open heart surgery and long recovery times and the possibility for more complications.  

Excited:  This could be the path we need to go down to get things fixed and get her to her healthiest.  What if we make a genetic diagnosis so we can prepare for those things down the road like spinal surgery with more certainty? 

Indifferent:  This has been our journey for a long time now.  It's been so taxing there are times that I really just have no feelings about it anymore.  I just go into a zone and don't think about it.  It's selfish, but true.  

Image Courtesy of Bethany Blair Photography

Being a parent is always hard.  And with being a stay-at-home mom, most of my worth is tied up in my kids right now.  And for me, that makes it harder.  It's all I think about.  And then to have Allyn have all of these really complicated medical things (with no answers) going on daily....well, it's just a lot.

So if you read this and you think about it in the next two weeks, say a really big bold prayer for this sweet little girl of ours.

1 comment:

Katrin said...

I don't know if you remember me, but Nolan and my daughter Hannah used to go to Gymboree class together and we used to work out at the same gym in NWA. I have been keeping up with you on your blog and I am praying for sweet Allyn. You are a fantastic and strong mom.